English as a Second Language

Grandparents before their Going Away Celebration at the Pastor's House
Dylan swinging for the fences
The Family at the Chinese Restaurant saying our goodbyes

Seems like only seconds ago I was in LA watching 90210 with Alana, hitting balls at the batting cages with Dylan and helping my grandparents pack up my room as they prepare to move back to Belize. My recent trip to LA was by far my favorite since I’ve moved to London, even though it was definitely the most emotional. Who knew packing up your entire life into 7 boxes would be so exhausting? It was draining but thrilling. It was the end of one chapter and the start of another; a teary goodbye to life in good old Highland, California and a hello to a life unknown. As I said goodbye to my grandparents for the last time until November my Grandpa and I started to cry. Then my Grandma being my Grandma barks, “you’ve said goodbye thousands of times now, so get on with it.” So, onwards and upwards folks. Back to life in London.

The last couple of weeks in London have been filled with occasionally brilliant sunny days, redecorating the flat (there’s not much to do when it comes fully furnished and slightly broken down), fundraising for my upcoming Habitat for Humanity trip and looking for a new job. Yet, as I settle back into my adopted country I realize that sometimes I am still struggling to understand the most basic of things about life in London. Sometimes I feel like I am constantly learning how to communicate with the natives.

When I first arrived on ‘the Island’ some 14 months ago I was full of the cocky assuredness that I everything I would need to learn about the UK and ‘Europe’ I would learn and everything else I figured wasn’t worth learning. After all, how different could it really be? They speak English we speak English. Sure the country is thousands of years old and their government, culture, customs and landscape is completely different to ours but that’s neither here or there. What ties us, what will forever connect us is our mutual disdain for the French AND the English language. Right?

The problem with ‘the English language makes us one’ theory is that the English we speak in America is a foreign language to the proper English that is spoken here. Not only am I constantly ridiculed about my pronunciation of ‘water’. Here, it is pronounced Wa – TER, with a T not a D. Every time I ask for the ‘restroom’ I get glares. Do they really expect me to say ‘loo’? That sounds ridiculous on everyone that uses it. Is ‘toilet’ that much better? I don’t think it adequately describes what I am going to do in there. Not only am I going to use the toilet but also I am going to pat down my hair in the mirror, check to see if the establishment is using enviro friendly hand dryers. Who knew ‘pants’ where underwear? What the heck are knickers then? I can barely bring myself to call ‘sweaters’ ‘jumpers’. If someone can explain to me why I sweater is called a jumper it would be appreciated. I learned from my Grandpa that the use of S H A G was a vile form of fornicating that young ladies should never EVER use. I thought it was just a fun way to describe coitus? Austin Powers used it. He and James Bond movies is how I learned about the ways of English people.

The English feel we’ve bastardized what is the most beautiful language in the world. Or the language of the Empire that once ruled the world anyway. They resent the fact Americans have forced the world to adopt phraseologies such as ‘bling’ and ‘what up.’ To that I say, we hate those words too – blame advertizing agencies and globalization. I’ve learned to ignore the look of disgust that unveils itself when I and my other American friends speak to English citizens. I know they don’t mean to disparage us with their looks for the mere fact we speak a bit funny. Truth be told YOU guys speak funny. I haven’t heard anyone speak like Eliza Doolittle the entire time I’ve been here. Let down much? And yes, technically, we took English from you – but just like everything else in America – we SUPERSIZED it.

Natasha x